Edward Kiledjian

If you practice mediation, any religion or organizational strategy, your goal is to be Mind Like Water. 

The goal is to achieve a level of calmness and peace that empties your mind. This empty mind is then ready to handle anything life throws at it.

In Getting Things Done,  the goal is to build a trusted system that can track everything so your mind doesn't have to. Why is this important? Our mind mistakenly believes that everything it is tracking has the same immediately critical importance. By externalizing all of these elements into a trusted system your mind knows is reliable, you offload all of this mental energy consuming tracking and allow yourself to consciously set the appropriate level of importance for each task. If an urgent surprise does occur, you have the mental clarity needed to calmly analyze it and decide intelligently how to handle it. You don't panic and over/under react.

In Taoism, there is a core belief in something called Wu Wei. Translated it means Action of non-action. It is used to describe a state of being where you are calm, in control and in a state of clear. A state in which you are automatically aligned with the flows of nature, in a way where you respond perfectly and appropriately to every situation.

The most easy to understand description I have seen for "mind like water" comes from Karate and is repeated by David Allen when explaining GTD.If you throw a pebble into a still pond how does the water respond? It responds totally appropriately to the force and mass of the pebble then quickly return to a state of calm stillness. It doesn't over-react or under react. It reacts perfectly. 

The greatest sports players use this powerful mental tool. They practice so much that when they finally compete, everything is done automatically without really thinking about it. This means they are more in tune to reality and are able to respond to changing situations faster and more appropriately. 

Your goal in life is to live "Mind like water". This means using a trusted task management system to free your mind of the mundane so it can concentrate on being spectacular. Practice meditation or religion to learn calmness and stillness. Learn to live with a silent mind (much more difficult than you can imagine). Once you achieve this goal, everything in your life will seem easy and effortless. Good things will flow to you and bad things will naturally repel. Things that seems like unsurmountable boulders turn into small pebbles.

Learn from water. Be Like water. 

Before reading this article, you should take 5 minutes and read these entries:

• Before Dying, Sam Shared His 3 Secrets To A Happy Life (Video)

• The Secret To Turning On The Happiness Switch

ven the most optimistic and disciplined professional sometimes feels depressed or overwhelmed. It could be caused because of life pressure, surprise bills, work issues, etc.

If you are generally happy but find yourself in one of these small negative lulls, what can you do? Here are some simple time proven strategies to "get you into the light:.

1. Take care of yourself - Get a massage, a pedicure or simply take a long warm shower. When people feel depressed, they want to sit around and sulk. Taking care of yourself and feeling clean will shift your paradigm and will often be enough to jump start you out of your rut.
2. Go exercise - Exercising doesn't mean killing yourself in a crossfit routine but it does mean  moving around. It can be as simple as taking a nice walk with your dog, going for a swim or taking a hike in nature. Getting out of the house is important to change your mood so plan on doing something outside or at the gym.
3. Dig into your gratitude Jar - If you have a gratitude jar, read a couple of your gratitude snippets to lift your mood. If you don't have a gratitude jar, read this article (link) to find out how to start one now.
4. Play it loud - Play music that you love long and loud. Pick something upbeat that gives you the urge to sing or dance. 
5. Talk about it - If none of the above worked, talk to your spouse, or  a friend. I know that some of you may not have anyone available so sometimes online forums and chat services may also fit the bill in a pinch.

Above all, remember that this too shall pass and that most of the time, you are likely to imagine things worse than they actually are. Stay positive and live the life you love.

The prevailing wisdom is that you should be happy when things are "going your way". Which means your happiness is dependent on the world deciding to cooperate and we all know how that turns out. 

Let's say it is early morning and you just got into your car so you can drive to work. How many green lights do you need to have on (simultaneously) until you decide it is the right time to pull out of your driveway? Stupid question right? You'll drive out of your driveway and if you get to a red light, wait, then drive off until you encounter the next red light. Mix and repeat until work.

Happiness doesn't happen by chance, its a choice

Happiness is a mindset. It is a way of seeing the world. 2 people can live through the exact same situation and have extremely different experiences because of how they view the world.

Let's say your long term life partner leaves you for someone else. You can sulk for months asking everyone to pity you or you can tell yourself the wrong person left your life and now there is room for the right person to enter it.

Truly happy people are happy regardless of how the world treats them. They understand that even the darkest cloud has a silver lining. That after the fiercest storm will come calm and sun. 

So the key to happiness is choosing to be happy. Allow yourself to be happy knowing that the bright sunshine is just around the corner.

When you choose to be happy, good things will be attracted to you. You will start seeing opportunities you would otherwise have missed.

Misery begets misery. Happiness begets happiness. 

If the above Video doesn't work, check it out directly in the TEDx site (link)

We all learn about the importance of positive thinking and perseverance yet until I watched the above video, the power of those concepts didn't really sink in. Sam Berns is a man with incredible life challenges yet he shows the power of the human spirit. Sam makes every difficulty in your life seem infinitesimally small and insignificant. 

Here is a man with a debilitating incurable disease who is really, truly and genuinely happy. Through his talks, Sam teaches us his secrets to a happy life.

1. FOCUS ON THINGS YOU CAN DO - He explains that your mental energy should be spent on positive things you can do rather than the things you can't. The sentence that illustrates this is : "Be ok with what I ultimately can't do, because there is so much I CAN do."
2. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE YOU WANT AROUND - In his talk he explains the power of positive loving people and clearly illustrates why you want "good" people around you. He explains how his friends helped him forget about his disease when creating music and how his families love got him through the difficult times.
3. LOOK FORWARD TO THE POSITIVE - He explains how important it is to focus on the positive things coming up on your future. They give you something to look forward to. Having something positive to look forward to helps soften some of the challenges you may be faced with today.

With all of the challenges this 17 year old was presented with, he maintained a positive outlook and asked others not to waste time feeling bad for themselves. This is a truly inspirational talk.

Sam's parents devoted their lives to finding a cure to this rare and incurable disease by establishing the Progeria Research Foundation. The foundation aims to finance research. Sam's father was a pediatrician in training and switched to genetics research when his son was diagnosed. This research team was able to identify the progeria causing gene and they are conducting clinical trials on a promising drug called lonafarnib (started in 2007). So far the preliminary research is promising showing that the 28 patients has weight gain, improved bone structure and reversal of the blood vessel changes that cause heart attack or stroke. It is important to note that this drig isn't a cure but it may help children affected by progreria to life longer healthier lives.

Sam passed away just weeks after he gave the above talk.

The above comes from the Buddha. In simple terms, it means we are responsible for our own actions. The Buddha can't save us. Only we can save ourselves through learning, discipline and self-control.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. "

Lao Tzu

What first step did you take today to prepare for a brighter more enjoyable tomorrow?

When I sit down and analyze most of my days, it seems that I am bombarded by hundreds of pieces of bad news for every 1 piece of good news. This constant harassment by the world can quickly take its toll and turn even the most positive person into a grumpy world-hater. Not only is grumpiness annoying to those around you, but it really and truly has an impact on your ability to succeed.

"Accept that your view of today shapes your tomorrow" - Edward Kiledjian

So how do you counter this modern day affliction? Through gratitude! 

What are the benefits of gratitude?

What's in it for you? Good question. Research and experience show that gratitude has 3 direct benefits to practitioners: physical, psychological and relational. We'll talk about how to implement gratitude in your life but assuming you do it wholeheartedly for at least 21 days, here are some of the benefits you could experience:

Physical

• longer and more restful sleep
• increased desire to exercise and make healthier life decisions decisions
• Reduction in stress which leads to dozens of benefits including lowering blood pressure & improvement in bodily functions (cortisol is bad)
• In some studies, testers even reported a reduction in physical pain

Psychological

• Happier
• More optimistic
• Enjoys more situations with positive emotional impact (more of the good, less of the bad)
• More energy

Relational

• Become more connected to your friends, family and loved ones

• Become more connected to your social net

• Achieve more of the zen qualities (more forgiving, more generous. more compassionate, etc)

Overall you become a better person and the world around you notices.

As you become happier and better, you get more of the fuel to become happier and better. 

Appreciate the simple everyday gifts

Since we were little, we have been thought to always want more: more money, more things, more recognition, etc. This often conditions us to ignore what we have today and concentrate on what we demand from life in the future.

As an example, an employee may be upset that he isn't getting a cost of living adjustment, but ignores the fact that many friends working at competitors are getting laid off. Instead of being grateful for the job, he spends all his energy on being upset that the company "screwed him" and that the "company doesn't appreciate him". He doesn't realize that by cutting the COLA, the company may have saved dozens of employee jobs (maybe even his job). All of this negative thinking will impact the quality of his work which may eventually lead to him getting terminated for substandard performance. 

Gratitude doesn't mean you have to settle for second best but it does change your perspective. Do you appreciate the fact that you have a roof over your head, food on the table and a loving family?

What would happen if you lost your house, couldn't put food on the table and lost your family? This is a powerful exercise where you imagine losing everything you take for granted then slowly bring each one back and think about what it means to have that element in your life.

Imagine you lost your house and didn't have a roof over your head. How would that change your life? How would you feel? Really close your eyes and play this game with me. Imagine how you would feel if you didn't have a house. Try to live those emotions. Now imagine having your house. How does this feel? What are you grateful for by having a house? 

Its a great exercise to periodically play this game with the main elements around you. Really get an appreciation for how lucky you are for having some of these elements you have been taking for granted all this time.

This will "force" you to be happy as you are with what you have. You won't need the next big think to be happy (which will bring temporary happiness anyway). Have you ever said:

• I'll be happy when I finally get that promotion.
• I'll be happy when I finally find my soulmate.
• I'll finally be happy when I can buy a house with a pool

Most of us have thought about at least one of the above in our lives and it is just proof that we need to retrain ourselves to be thankful for what we have. 

A drug addict is always thinking about his next fix. He isn't happy in the moment and is only satisfied when he finally get's that next hit. Of course the satisfaction from the hit quickly wears off and he goes back to thinking about the next hit. In order to generate that feeling of satisfaction, each hit has to be just a little bit stronger.

Many of us live our lives like this. I'll be happy when I finally get that raise. When you get the raise, you are happy for a while then start thinking about everything you can do with more money and push for another bigger raise. You become unhappy in the now and falsely believe that if you just had a little bit more money, it would make everything good. But it won't. True happiness comes from the inside. 

"If the onIy prayer you say in your life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice." Eckhart Tolle

How to practice gratitude

There are many ways to help you be more thankful. One useful, powerful and simple method was spearheaded by a minister in Kansas City called Will Bowen. He asked his followers to go without complaining, criticizing or gossiping for 21 days. Many self-help authors and coaches recommend the same practice. It is done with the hope that you will retrain your mind into seeing more good around you. It seems simple but it is powerful. 

Another common tool is the gratitude journal. The concept is that you write down ,every day, 3 to 10 items for which you are grateful. again I recommend you do this for at least 21 days to start seeing the positive impact this will have on your life. 

My third recommendation is to start a gratitude jar. Everyday, take the 1-2 most powerful items you are grateful of from your gratitude journal and write them down (individually) on a small piece of paper and place in a jar. Anytime you feel down, overwhelmed or "sick of life", open the jar and pull out one of the gratitude slips. You will see how much of an impact this has.

Conclusion

Everything in this article is simple. Sometimes we falsely believe that simple means ineffective, but nothing is further from the truth. I have helped large multinational conglomerates turn around their fortunes by implementing simple, easy and basic concepts. 

The only requirement to benefit from gratitude is a willingness to try it with an open mind. Why not start now?